The Moment I Wenk Up.

New.

2012-01-09T23:06:00.001+08:00

Tonight, I opened my blogger account to find out that my promise to write a blog post at least once a month has not been kept. Boo hoo. What a way to end 2011 and start 2012.

Do I feel like a failure? No, not really.

For one thing, I started a new blog: Ze Wifey Chronicles. No, this is not a replacement for this blog (TMIWU). Instead, ZWC chronicles the extremely senseless thoughts related to being a wife with no training in domestication whatsoever. TMIWU is dedicated to extremely senseless thoughts, period.

Also, I can honestly say that I grew up by leaps and bounds in 2011. I learned to do my own laundry. I wrote more than I ever wrote before. I learned to cook my meals. I got married.

As with last year, there will be no new year's resolutions this 2012. Instead, there will be a simple resolve to put 100% in whatever it is I am doing. If I'm going to take the trash out, I'm going to skip and sing my way to the garbage chute. If I'm going to wash the dishes, then by golly, it's going to be the most fun task ever. Really.

C is for Cookie, That's Good Enough For Me!

2011-11-27T00:04:00.001+08:00

Today marks the third month since I have officially become a missus. After several weeks, I can finally say that I'm starting to be more comfortable in the kitchen.

Sure, my chopped onions, garlic, tomatoes (and everything that requires me using a knife) continue to be extremely unequal in size. However, I'm becoming more adventurous with my weekly meal plans. I'm now trying out dishes that need more than just oil to cook. :P

Today, I wanted to try out something near and dear to my heart... DESSERT! While other people opted to spend their Saturday night drinking and dancing... I attempted baking Chocolate Chip Cookies for the first time! Thankfully, they were pretty yummy!!!

Since our kitchen is still very incomplete, special mention definitely goes out to the hubby who mixed the batter for me with a wooden spoon!

The non-cook.

2011-10-18T18:27:00.004+08:00

I've been married for almost two months now, and it's been amazingly great. My cooking, however, is not so great. Every time I step into the kitchen, I embark on a new chaotic adventure.

Thankfully, I've been blessed with a hubby who will eat anything I put on his plate. It's a good thing he made a promise to me before we got married: that he will eat anything I cook... as long as I eat it too.

The Waiting Place by Eileen Button

2011-09-23T18:07:00.003+08:00

The Waiting Place is a series of short essays written from the point of view of the author (a mother, a columnist and a pastor's wife). In this book, Eileen gives us glimpses into various points of her rather complicated life.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed because I expected the book to be more about finding God in these "waiting places." However, once I got over that fact, I found myself appreciating the author's sharings, especially in the latter part of the book.

Overall, The Waiting Place is written in an intimate yet entertaining manner, making it a refreshing and light read.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program. Find out more at BookSneeze.com! :)

The Adventures of Tintin (and JV).

2011-09-13T15:02:00.007+08:00

It's been exactly 17 days since JV and I tied the knot. Yesiree, this blogger is now a married woman.

Am I happy? Most definitely. Am I domesticated? Not quite.

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No, my name is not Tintin.

Alive.

2011-08-12T17:25:00.003+08:00

I used to blog religiously. Up until recently, I would (mentally) kick myself if I went by an entire month without blogging. For crying out loud, I'm in front of the computer almost the entire day! The fact that I cannot jot down a single thought over a period of 30 days is inexcusable! Say it with me! Lazy bones, lazy bones, lazy bones!

Seeing that I missed blogging for the whole month of July (Eep! April, too!), here is a blog post. Yes, a post for the month of August. I am officially safe. I am guilt-free for the next few weeks.

Here I am. Extremely busy, but alive, alert, awake and enthusiastic. Yes, I am very much alive, alert, awake and enthusiastic.

Fifteen days to go. <3

Overwhelmed.

2011-06-24T13:01:00.007+08:00

There are times wherein I feel so *blech* that I want to curl up into bed and sleep the entire day away.

On the other hand, there are moments like now wherein I am absolutely flabbergasted when I realize how many wonderful people are in my life. I look around me, and I see that I've found an amazing support system over the years. I am constantly surrounded by kind, loving people who understand me and who love me for me. At this point, it is impossible to feel anything but appreciative and thankful.

Loved, loved, loved. I'm a happy girl.

Unto the Hills: A Daily Devotional by Billy Graham

2011-05-25T19:51:00.003+08:00

I may be busy and may often forget to pray… but that does not mean I do not crave for prayer time.

Unto the Hills is a wonderful daily devotional to help aid one’s spiritual growth. Life sometimes seems too busy for one to find time to read the Bible readings on a daily basis. Whether we admit it or not, our schedules can greatly hinder our prayer life.

This devotional by Billy Graham is written in a manner that is very simple and easy to understand. It begins with a particular verse from scripture, and then leads into a short reflection related to the day’s passage. Afterwards, it ends with a short yet relevant prayer.

You may opt to read one page everyday, or may also choose to read several pages at a time. What I particularly appreciate about Unto the Hills is that each reading for the day is labeled with the month and date (such as January 1, March 15, August 27) – and is not made for a particular year. This devotional is timeless as it allows you to read it for years to come – which I have every intention of doing. This book is perfect for your bedside because it will help you start your day (or even end your day) on a right note.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program. Find out more at BookSneeze.com! :)

Nora.

2011-05-22T00:10:00.003+08:00

At the end of the day, it is family that matters most.

Thank you for reminding me of that, Lola.

We love and miss you.

Oink, oink.

2011-05-04T22:35:00.005+08:00

On pretty much any given day, you could comment on my (incredibly large) figure and it wouldn't bother me so much. Food makes me happy. Tell me I gained a billion pounds and I wouldn't lose my appetite. I wouldn't throw away the Venti Frappe or the can of Coke I was drinking either.

Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. I sit here at the end of the day and think back at what I've eaten since I woke up. This sounds really stupid, but I simultaneously want to cry, run a marathon, shake myself, do pushups and weights, slap myself and scream, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, KRIS?!?! DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO EAT ALL THAT!? WERE YOU EVEN HUNGRY!?!?!?"

Little Miss Cranky Pants.

2011-03-24T22:37:00.003+08:00

Every little thing has been getting on my nerves lately. Please be careful with what you say to me. Jokes aren't funny and sarcasm is not appreciated. I'm in dire need of sleep and sugar, and I could snap any minute now. Watch out, world. Ugh.

One step forward and two steps back.

2011-02-18T10:03:00.004+08:00

The days have gotten incredibly short lately. I find myself with zero time to watch the TV shows I used to follow religiously. I cannot seem to have the energy to pick up the book that's been my bedside for more than a month now. In fact, I barely have an hour of "me time" a day. To put a little fun in my day, I have resorted to a few games of Bejeweled before getting up in the morning. Yes, life is that exciting. :P

I am finding myself always trying to catch up with things I have fallen behind on. Sometimes though, just when I've caught up on everything, life speeds on a few steps ahead and I will find myself left behind once again. Yes, I am struggling and all this "catching up" is taking it's toll on me. Oddly enough though, part of me wishes it could go faster. Six months into the future, to be exact.

There are wonderful, wonderful, wonderful things to look forward to this year. No matter how stressful the daily grind may be, it is a beautiful thing to wake up each day, absolutely in love with the idea of the future. I will get there eventually. One step at a time.

The unforeseen.

2011-01-10T01:52:00.011+08:00

So we're more than a week into the new year. I won't do a customary "The Year That Was" post with reflections or a blow-by-blow account of things that happened over the past year. Instead, let's focus on the future.

One thing is for certain, 2011 is full of promise and all sorts of exciting possibilities. It may be merely psychological, but the new year gifts us with a clean slate. No matter what age you are, you can still teach yourself new tricks.

I start the year slightly stressed and already a tad worn out. That's okay, though. This year will definitely be like no other. This year will be my year.

Image by Little Aviary via The Sweetest Occasion.

2011.

2011-01-01T02:01:00.000+08:00

Here's to 2011! It's going to be the most bestest, awesomest year yet. ♥

Clutter.

2010-12-31T02:54:00.004+08:00

It's only beginning to dawn on me that tomorrow, another year is ending. Another decade is ending. For some reason, the fact that 2010 is ending tomorrow is sending me into a state of panic. I want nothing more than to begin 2011 in an orderly, relaxed manner. Of course, this isn't the case at all.

My room is extremely cluttered--more cluttered than it has ever been in my 26 years of existence. Opened Christmas gifts have not yet been put away, recently purchased books are still in their plastic bags, rather intimidating stacks of *important* magazines are waiting to be read... things are everywhere.

Unfortunately, my closet is in a similar state of chaos. Worse, even. It's actually pretty painful to look at. Wrinkled clothes have been tossed back inside. I have also just recently admitted to myself that my closet is extremely full... of clothes that I will never wear. I have way too many pieces of clothing that belong in a "wishful thinking" category. I will never fit into these clothes and I really should begin accepting that. If I picked out the clothes I actually liked and fit into, I wouldn't need a closet. I'd probably fill a plastic bag.

There are random things that are driving me nuts, as well. Hundreds of text messages are eagerly waiting to be deleted, therefore making my phone painfully slow. The television remote control batteries need changing; they've actually needed changing for more than a month. Even my Gmail inbox is due for some sorting through. I have used up more than 85% of my inbox capacity. How in the world did that happen?! I've also been wanting to change my blog layout for the past few weeks. My current layout is another thing I find messy, and it hasn't quite been inspiring me to write. I just haven't gotten around to searching for new templates. Sigh.

I honestly don't think any of that mess is going to disappear tomorrow. Maybe everything will be spic and span by January 1.... or 2.. or 3. Maybe I'll be done cleaning by mid-January. One thing is for sure--decluttering is my priority for the first few days of the year.

Admitting I need to declutter is the first step. Good job, Kris! Everything else should be easy... right?

Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore (with Lyn Vincent)

2010-10-27T02:02:00.005+08:00

Same Kind of Different As Me is a powerful and enlightening book that touches on racism, poverty, faith, justice, healing and love. It tells the stories of Ron and Denver—two very different people leading very different lives. Thanks to Debbie, Ron’s altruistic wife, the two stories intertwine and the lives of both Ron and Denver are changed forever.

The book initially seemed like an easy read—something light that I could breeze through in just a few sittings. However, as I became more and more involved into the stories of Ron and Denver, I found there was an intensity I was not at all expecting. The two main characters told their stories in very distinct manners—but both were very real and incredibly raw. By the latter half of the book, I found myself rejoicing for the two men when they experienced triumphs, and I felt for them when they were hurting.

Same Kind of Different As Me is an inspiring book that reminds us that we can move mountains with a little bit of faith—faith in others and faith in God.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program. Find out more at BookSneeze.com! :)

Meaning.

2010-10-21T19:05:00.001+08:00

Fears.

2010-09-20T23:34:00.006+08:00

There are many things I have yet to learn to do: Cook. Swim. Kill a cockroach. One thing I really need to learn to do, however, is drive.

No, this has nothing to do with the fact that when I was a very young kid, I made a promissory note to my sisters that said:

1. I would never learn to drive.

2. I would name my child Booger.

Not knowing how to drive has been a constant thorn in my side. Every few days/weeks, someone I know will ask me how come I don't drive. I don't really know what to say anymore. When family asks me this question, I get all defensive and just end up getting annoyed or mad. When friends ask me at times, I just say "Yeah, I really should learn."

Every time I ask a friend to pass for me or take me home, I am somewhat embarrassed. At times, I want to go somewhere but have no one to go with or no way to get there--so I don't end up going at all. Other times, I want to be on time for a certain thing, but find myself at the mercy of the person picking me up. I feel frustrated and helpless, but unfortunately, I really don't think I'm ready to learn. :(

The Boy Who Changed the World by Andy Andrews.

2010-09-07T23:50:00.007+08:00

The Boy Who Changed the World is a book based on The Butterfly Effect. This children's book aims to teach the younger generation that everything they do matters and that they too, can change the world.

I decided to read this book because I could pass it on to my niece and nephew afterwards. The illustrations throughout the book were nice, and my expectations grew. However, I found myself feeling puzzled by the time I put it down. Was this really a children's book? There were a lot of big words being thrown around. The concept was also rather confusing--I don't know if a young child would appreciate a story that had a timeline moving back in time.

Would I recommend it to others? Yes, I would--but maybe not to to children. I don't think they wouldn't understand it anyway! :P

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program. Find out more at BookSneeze.com! :)

Random.

2010-08-10T00:58:00.005+08:00

Incredible things happen when you least expect it. It's been an amazingly eventful few weeks. I want to tell you all about it. I really do. Not today, though.

:)

2010-07-26T00:08:00.003+08:00

I am on top of the world right now. :)

Ready to be Surprised.

2010-07-18T00:57:00.009+08:00

There were many other blogs before TMIWU came into existence--and honestly, I've never posted a single entry on religion. In fact, I don't think there are even any entries with the slightest hint of a religious tone to it. I consider myself a rather devout Catholic. I just never wanted to blog about it--until today.

This week, I was asked to make a decision. It wasn't career-oriented or life threatening or anything like that. To me, however, it was an important decision. I searched high and low for signs from above. I was hoping for an obvious "yes" or "no" to fall from the sky. Unfortunately, no signs fell from the sky. I still had to make my decision, with or without signs. Eventually, it was one that I said yes to.

Then something amazing happened. Right after I said yes, a verse from Philippians 4:13 IMMEDIATELY came to mind. You must know that Bible verses do NOT come naturally to me. Ever. At that time, I wasn't even 100% sure it was a Bible verse. Either way, it fit.

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

Why You Say It by Webb Garrison.

2010-07-09T01:06:00.014+08:00

I love words. When I came across an opportunity to get myself a copy of Why You Say It, I immediately took advantage of it. It helped that I was extremely attracted to the cover art.

The basic premise of this book is that behind every word or phrase, there is a story. This book shares origins of various words and phrases, dividing them into sections such as “Names and Games” and “Money, Business and Commerce.”

Now, the question is—did I like this book? To a certain extent, I did. There were facts I found so interesting that I found myself sharing some with family members over dinner.

My gripe about this book is that many words and phrases are not used in everyday conversations like the title denotes. In fact, there were quite a number of entries that I have never and probably will never encounter in my life.

Why You Say It is not a book that you should read from cover to cover. It is interesting and informative, but is more ideal as reference material or for quick reads.

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program. Find out more at BookSneeze.com! :)

Abridged.

2010-07-02T01:51:00.010+08:00

I missed blogging for the month of June by a day--by two days if we're going to be technical. Trust me, this makes me unbelievably frustrated. Moving on.

For the past 40 days, I have traveled to three different countries with my parents. It was 40 days of family and food. It was 37 nights of sleeping on either a sofa or an air bed (we stayed at a hotel for three nights). It was a vacation that strengthened ties that needed strengthening, and made room for new ones. It was a vacation full of laughs, reminiscing, and walking until our most comfortable shoes were no longer comfortable.

There are many stories to be told, and maybe one day, I'll tell you about them. Maybe I won't.

I am forever going to be grateful to my parents for funding this trip. I have been given a rare opportunity to visit my loved ones abroad, and I know that I won't be able to afford it myself for quite some time. Although I appreciate the new sights that I saw along the way--I am most thankful for the simple fact that I was able to travel with my parents. I can honestly say that I've gotten to know them (and myself, actually) a lot more over the past few weeks. I love them even more now, if that's even possible.

Of course, I am extremely happy to be home, safe and sound. At the end of the day, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. :)

Lapse.

2010-05-06T22:25:00.007+08:00

It's been more than a month since my last post. Considering I'm pretty talkative, I actually feel like I have nothing to say.

Maybe it's because I talk too much and have nothing left to write down? Maybe it's because the things I do want to talk about, I'd rather not put out in cyberspace? Maybe it's because I've just been too lazy to post? Yeah, that's probably it.

I find it so sad to see how boring my blog has become. My previous blogs were full of the most random posts! I would constantly obsess over whoever was eliminated in Amazing Race or share my findings on whether couples formed on reality shows were still together after the season ended. I would jot down my to-do list for school. I would copy/paste lyrics of my current favorite song. I would even post the lamest attempts at *eep* poetry.

Up to this day, I enjoy going back to my old blogs to see what I used to write about. I especially like to see what I was doing many years ago at the same time of the year. What I find usually amuses me and makes me cringe at the same time. But hey, it's nice to see I've matured. I've also learned to proofread what I write before publishing it. Thank goodness.

However, I've got to give myself credit--I used to post a lot.

It actually drives me nuts when I see that in this blog, I average only one post a month. I admit that sometimes, it gets to the point that I force myself to post something. Anything. I need to have at least one entry for the month. Anything less than that will make me feel like my blog is terribly outdated... which will make me even lazier to update it.

So, here is yet another post on absolutely nothing. This post isn't about anything intellectual. It isn't informative. It isn't even entertaining. It is a desperate attempt at making my blog more active. It is simply a post to give me peace of mind for the month of May.

Thankful.

2010-04-04T01:25:00.007+08:00

Now, I know that we're celebrating Easter today and not Thanksgiving. However, I couldn't let my day end without writing about how mighty thankful I'm feeling.

I have been amazed (and slightly amused) at how constantly I am given opportunities--no matter how small these opportunities may be. Lately, instead of feeling fearful about the future, I find myself feeling hopeful and excited about whatever may be in store for me.

For some reason, my heart is full. Full to the brim. Overflowing, even. I know that great things are coming my way. In the larger scheme of things, I know I have not been forgotten.

Grammar (Girl) Fanatic

2010-03-22T14:25:00.011+08:00

I love words. I don't consider myself an expert in grammar at all (not by a long shot!), but that doesn't mean I can't love it. I hate it when people use the word "stuffs" or invite me to a drink at "Starbuck's."

Many years ago, I began listening to a podcast by GrammarGirl. She hosts a regular show on "Quick and Dirty Tips on Grammar." This girl is seriously intelligent, sarcastic, and funny at the same time.

A few weeks ago, I was browsing around Fully Booked and was DELIGHTED to find a book called "Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing." Obviously, I left the bookstore with a new book in my arms. Ahhh, sheer joy.

I read the book whenever I could. Of course, I had to deal with a lot of weird looks from my dad regarding my idea of fun and light reading.

Somewhere near the end of the book, Mignon Fogarty (her real name) mentioned that she had a Twitter account. I browsed through her tweets and found that she was attending a writing seminar in Pasadena that weekend.

Wait a minute! My brother was attending a writing seminar--in Pasadena!

This is a story of how, thanks to my wonderful brother, I now have my very first autograph. Apparently, they were seatmates. I am officially a fangirl.

Battle Studies.

2010-03-18T00:39:00.007+08:00

When John Mayer's Room for Squares came out in 2001, I was an instant fan.

Ever since I fell in love with his first album, I've hoped and prayed that he would come to the Philippines. I knew it was a long shot. I didn't care. I knew that eventually, he would run out of big countries to tour. He'd have to come here... right?

The ticket prices are not exactly friendly on the pocket, but... it's John Mayer. I don't need to watch from the VIP section (although that would be really nice!)... I just need to watch.

Tomorrow, I will count my coins. I will clean out my closet and see what I can sell. I will call Channel V and ask how much the early bird rate is. I will make JV promise that he will watch with me.

I will watch John Mayer. I will watch John Mayer. I will watch John Mayer.

Vocabulary #1.

2010-03-13T00:00:00.013+08:00

re·sil·ience [ri-zil-yuhns, -zil-ee-uhns]

· ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.

They say that Filipinos are resilient people. Whether we face the wrath of nature or disastrous family feuds, we immediately smile, pick ourselves up, and move on.

Thank goodness my belongings are resilient, too.

The Nokia

I swear, my phone is dying on me. However, no one will believe me anymore--because I've been saying this for at least two years now.

At first, the problems were simple. I couldn't call. It was nothing that repeatedly restarting the phone couldn't solve.

Then, my phone decided that it wanted to die every single time I got a phone call longer than two minutes. The solution was a no-brainer: Get a new battery.

For a brief period of time, there was a phase wherein I thought I had sent a text message, only to find the message in my Draft folder hours later. No wonder no one would reply to my text messages--no one ever received them. I don't know how this particular problem fixed itself, but thank goodness it hasn't happened in a while.

One afternoon about two months ago, an annoyingly loud beeping sound came from my phone. I checked to see what was wrong, and I saw an extremely threatening GENERAL SYSTEM ERROR message repeatedly flashing on the screen. After taking the battery out and putting it back in a number of times, the phone finally worked again--contacts, messages and photos all still intact.

Since then, I have only been encountering minor problems, such as the phone's memory card not reading properly. It's no biggie. Restarting the phone or taking out the battery always seems to solve the problem.

Maybe my phone knows that I have no money to replace it? In a way, my Nokia seems to be doing its own version of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, except the wolf doesn't ever seem to arrive. Phew.

Considering that I've had my phone since 2007, and that I've dropped it at least a thousand times, I'm not surprised that it's acted the way it has--but still. I'd rather it not die just yet.

The Nike

Now, the life of my rubber shoes is nowhere as long or as dramatic as my previous story... but my shoes deserve just as much credit for their wonderfully long and persistent life.

I don't remember the year I got my rubber shoes, but I'm pretty sure that they've been hitting the pavement for at least four years. No, err, not exactly regularly--but just the same, it's been a pretty long time.

Lately, I've decided to use my shoes again. However, it seems that they don't want to be used anymore.

My shoes have finally decided to cry out for help. Their cries are now getting so loud, that both the left and the right shoes have ever-so-slightly opened their mouths in despair. There they go, flapping their mouths open and close, gasping desperately for air with every step I take.

This brings me to my second vocabulary word for the day:

Super glue

–noun

Trademark. a brand of glue, containing a cyanoacrylate adhesive, that is quick-drying and strong.

Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado.

2010-03-04T00:08:00.009+08:00

Everyday, we are troubled by our pursuits to find the perfect job, to be in a relationship, to make more money... the list goes on. We all have our personal struggles, and these struggles consume us. These are our giants. We know what they are, but what we don’t know is how to face these giants and look them in the eye.

In Facing Your Giants, Max Lucado connects King David's journey with our everyday battles. David’s story is composed of so much more than how he defeated Goliath. David made many mistakes, and his relationship with the Lord was far from perfect. Like David, we need to be reminded that with God's help, we can conquer anything—even if we "aren't the strongest, the smartest, the best equipped, or the holiest."

Facing Your Giants is the first Max Lucado book I’ve ever read, and to be honest, reading through the many Bible verses took some getting used to. However, the book was well worth my time. I had very little knowledge of David before reading this book, and I very much appreciated how Lucado shows us that David was so… human.

This book is perfect for people who, like me, occasionally need to be reminded:

"Focus on giants—you stumble.
Focus on God—your giants tumble."

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I received a complimentary copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of BookSneeze, a book review bloggers program. Find out more at BookSneeze.com! :)

The Winner.

2010-02-15T00:50:00.017+08:00

A few months ago, I posted an entry on the almighty TEMPUR pillow versus Home Shopping Network's similar yet inexpensive AIRMAX pillow.

We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen.

For Christmas, JV and I finally decided to splurge and get each other a Tempur pillow. One Saturday, we headed to Bonifacio High Street with a mission.

About an hour later, we happily skipped (fine, I skipped) to the car with our huge Tempur boxes in hand. Yes, we were aware that our bank accounts were much emptier. On the other hand, we knew that the promise of peaceful and restful nights awaited us.

Two nights later, my mom borrowed my pillow. Guess what she asked my dad to get her for Christmas?

It's been about a month and a half, and I must say--I'm really happy with my pillow. My spine is happy. My neck is happy. I'm happy. I haven't had a single nightmare since I got the Tempur. On some days, I find myself laughing when I wake up.

I've been sleeping better. My dreams have been better. Life is better.

*Some descriptions may be a wee bit exaggerated*

Excess.

2010-02-08T21:11:00.007+08:00

I can be excessively hyper.

Sometimes, I can be so excessively hyper that I annoy even myself.

If I were another person, I wouldn't even listen to me.

That can't be good, can it?

February.

2010-02-01T12:00:00.006+08:00

I don't know why, but I'm suddenly bursting with optimism.

It's pretty strange how I'm more optimistic now compared to the start of the year--which is when people are most enthusiastic about changing their lives and starting over.

January is over, but the rest of the year isn't. I KNOW it's going to be a great year.

Memory Lane / Wenk-ism #1.

2010-01-28T00:44:00.010+08:00

I was just reading through an old blog of mine, and I realized that yeeeeeeaaaaars later, I am exactly the same person. I'm in the same boat as I was in five or six years ago.

It's so weird.

Yes, I still watch a truckload of Reality TV (and I'm still as greatly affected by the final outcome of shows as I was back then), and I still love revel bars. But it's more than that. Aside from liking the same things, it freaks me out that I wrote / said things that I would still write / say to this day... in pretty much the same way. (Well, isn't that obvious!? I'm still the same person, right?!)

My rants and my frustrations back then were pretty much the same things I rant about at present. I wrote constantly about my insecurities, and not being good enough for even myself. I wrote about how much I wished I could write about everything, but could not seem to write about anything that mattered.

However, after reading through a bunch of old blog posts, I found myself feeling envious of how freely I could express what I was feeling back then. I didn't care about the amount of personal information I was releasing on the World Wide Web, and I obviously didn't care if I sounded like a bubbly, sugar high kid in one blog post, and a psychotic, emotionally unstable weirdo in the next. Oh. And I obviously never heard of proofreading back then. *blush*

The thing is, I've been blogging for YEARS. No, I couldn't quite convince myself to blog daily--not even weekly (and I still can't). But, I've blogged enough to get quite a lot of thoughts and raw emotions written down.

And because this is my blog, and you can't do anything about it, I'd like to revive some of the things I said. Not because they were particularly clever or funny (although some of the things I said really were quite clever / funny...) but because they're still pretty much what I would say now.

---

October 29, 2004

i love being able to rant and express whatever thoughts rattle and bounce around in my mind. i love hearing the clickety-clack of the keyboard as my fingers on the keyboard try to match the speed of the words in my head.

---

Twenty-six.

2010-01-06T17:09:00.006+08:00

I could never really stick to New Year's Resolutions. I also never really saw the logic behind posting them online for the world to see (although I'm pretty sure I did that in past blogs). Come to think of it, there IS more pressure to stick to them, because everyone knows what they are :P

This year, I am determined to:

Clean my room.

Be more productive.

Save.

Dress more like an adult.

Act like one, too.

Pressing the Rewind Button.

2010-01-01T02:01:00.010+08:00

There's no better time to be thankful for your blessings then on the last day of the year. 2009 was a tough year, but there are sooooooooo many things to be thankful for. I will not name ALL my blessings one by one, but I'll sum it up to the best of my ability:

I am thankful for my family. Although this is the first holiday season my family is not geographically complete, I am glad that distance does not stop my family from being a family. We laugh, we talk, and we laugh some more. I am also thankful for today's technology, which allows us to stay in touch, whether we are meters or miles apart. I am blessed to be part of this family, and at the end of the day, there is nowhere else I'd rather be but home.

I am thankful for my niece and nephew. Yes, they are technically part of the family, and I have already expressed how thankful I am to have them--but these two little runts are always the highlight of my day. I am fascinated by how much they can change on a daily basis, how quickly they learn new tricks, and what amazing people they are already turning out to be at such young ages. Because of these two babies, I am more appreciative of life and its wonders :)

I am thankful for friends. As you get older, you gain some friends, but you also fall out of touch with the others. 2009 was pretty much a year of renewing and solidifying old friendships. Yay for that! :)

I am thankful for lessons learned in 2009. I've made some drastic life choices, and I do not regret them. I believe that I am in more tune with myself than I have ever been--and this is something I truly consider an accomplishment.

I am thankful that I have had time to read more books (which I have really missed doing), and that although I am no longer employed full time, I can still afford to purchase these books--and have the occasional salmon sashimi!

And last but definitely not the least, I am thankful for another year with JV. I am even more thankful, because I KNOW that there are many, many, many more years with JV to come :)

Bring it on, 2010!

Happy new year! :)

2009-12-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night :)

Longing.

2009-11-27T22:53:00.008+08:00

You've been in my mind all day. No, I take it back. You've been in my mind all week. You're all I can think about. Honestly, I've been staring at photos of you, all the while deciding whether to pick up the phone and call for you or not. My heart is telling me to give in, but my mind is trying to stop me.

I don't care about where you're from. I don't care about the hands that have touched you. I don't care about the potential damage that you can cause. I don't care if I have to pay for you.

I need you. I will find a way to get you. You're worth it.

Revel bars, I must have you.

Blah.

2009-11-11T15:14:00.006+08:00

It's one of those days wherein I'm feeling down, angry, and invisible instead of happy, perky, and invincible.

I've been feeling feisty for the past 24 hours, and trouble has been brewing in the air. The littlest things are getting on my nerves, and I can't just let them slide for some reason. I need to mention it. I need to point it out. I feel like I'm almost always on the verge of picking a fight with someone (whether with good reason to or no reason to whatsoever), and I'm really trying my best to hold back and shut my trap. I really am.

I don't know why, but there's just so much anger bottled up inside, and I don't know who these negative vibes are supposed to be directed at. What's worse is that I'm even feeling this way while playing UNO on Facebook! I was so frustrated when a random stranger from somewhere across the globe made me draw four cards, then another two, then skipped my turn! ARGH!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO TO YOU!?

Forty Winks.

2009-11-06T23:36:00.010+08:00

People who take sleep seriously bow down to the powers of Tempur mattresses and pillows. My brother-in-law takes his Tempur pillow with him when traveling for work. I don't know what it feels like, or what effect it really has (except for the stuff I've read on their website), but I've always wanted one--but they're so friggin' expensive. But of course, you can't put a price on a good night's sleep, right? I used to remind myself that one day, it will be mine. I will lay my head on a Tempur.

The problem is--I'm torn.

I'm torn between Tempur and... Airmax.

**As mentioned a few posts ago, I'm a Home TV Shopping addict. I've never exactly purchased anything from the Home Shopping Network, but this is really something else! This ad is SO convincing!

If you've seen the Airmax ad, I was caught hook, line and sinker by the demo where they dropped an egg in all these beakers representing the material that makes up different kinds of pillows. It was only the Airmax beaker that supported the egg right away AND prevented it from cracking! WOWZA!!!

Just by watching the ad for a few minutes, I instantly realized how uncomfortable my pillows were. My pillows are either too flat or too full, and no combination could ever suffice! I was also shocked to learn that my spine alignment when I sleep is HORRIBLE! What am I doing to myself!? How can my neck still be attached to my body!? (Fine, fine, I'm exaggerating!)

Since seeing that ad weeks ago, I am haunted by the image of my spine becoming misaligned while I sleep. I suddenly feel that my neck is strained, and find myself adding another pillow, then taking out another pillow, then punching my pillow, then fluffing up my pillow. The cycle is endless.

Is it normal for someone to have such weird thoughts before they sleep!? Who thinks about spine alignment?! Neck alignment!? What in the world is happening to me!? IS THIS NORMAL!?!

My neck and spine are not at peace. They will never be at peace unless I make a decision.

To Tempur or to Airmax? To Airmax or to Tempur?

The After Effects.

2009-10-04T01:49:00.008+08:00

It's been exactly one week since typhoon Ondoy has hit the Philippines.

For the past seven days, thousands and thousands of homes have been submerged in water, mud, and trash. Thousands and thousands of people have been living in evacuation centers, or staying at a relative or friend's house, because it is practically impossible to live in the pile of mess that they once called home. Too many people are starting over—from scratch—from zero.

Seven days after this catastrophe, many families are still living on the second floors of their houses and crossing roofs in order to buy food, because their street has turned into a river.

It's extremely unfortunate that this typhoon has caused so many people to suffer the loss of their homes, their belongings, and their loved ones. This horrific typhoon was unforgiving, and ripped several cities to shreds.

But, Ondoy also began to piece together a country that badly needed healing.

A bunch of random words are all jumbled into my head at the moment, but in a way, they are all connected: Bayanihan. Heart. Selflessness. Conscience. Prayer. Inspiration. Generosity. Sacrifice. Love.

Over the past few days, everyday heroes have emerged. This generation used everyday technologies such as cellphones, social networking sites, blogs, and even Google spreadsheets to help fight the battle.

This generation is finding ways to help—whether by donating money or goods, volunteering their time and energy, lifting up prayers, or even disseminating important information to family and friends. Even overseas, Filipinos and Non-Filipinos alike are sending donations in cash and in kind.

You can see the overwhelming support by the empty shelves and unbelievably long lines at the supermarket—each grocery cart holding boxes and boxes of food items.

You can see the renewed sense of unity by the way human chains and assembly lines are forming in hundreds different relief centers across the country, aiming to get each bag of relief goods deployed as soon as possible.

You can see the willingness of people to help by the way that other relief centers are turning down volunteers--because there are too many people willing to lend a hand.

The call to action has been so heartwarming. We are not direct victims of Ondoy, but that doesn't mean that our eyes and hearts have not been opened by it. The Filipinos really did need a wake-up call—and thankfully, in our own little ways, we stepped up to the plate.

I’ve honestly never been as proud to be a Filipino as I have been this week. I am part of a generation that up to a week ago, I believed was rather apathetic. I’m so, so, so incredibly humbled and happy to admit that I was wrong.

The Home Series #2

2009-09-22T01:19:00.012+08:00

My parents are complete opposites when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.

My dad is the most organized person I know. Everything is arranged systematically--from schedules of bill payments to the way the contact list on his cellphone is arranged. He makes a schedule, and unlike most of us in the real world, he is able to stick to it. When he tells the family that he wants to leave the house at 5:00PM--you better be ready at 5:00PM.

My mom, on the other hand, is... not like my dad at all.

My mom is a woman of many, many great talents and abilities--but being conscious of the time is not one of them. Rarely does it happen that my mom is ready and dressed before my already-outside-dad is honking the car horn, getting more and more impatient by the second. At this point, my mom probably wouldn't have an outfit or bag ready, and would still have rollers in her hair.

Of course, with mom always rushing to get dressed, there's no way that she can clean up after herself before leaving the house. There will always be a light still on or a drawer still open after she closes the bathroom door.

After going out one night, my dad went ahead to their room while my mom was still in the kitchen. My dad found the bathroom in disarray. This time though, he wanted to teach my mom a lesson.

My dad proceeded to turn on all the lights, open even more drawers and cabinets, scatter toiletries all over the dresser, throw clothes and shoe bags on the floor, and even turn the chair over. He winked at me, then went to bed.

When my mom finally got to the bathroom, she exclaimed, " Oh my God! Dad, what happened!?!"

My dad casually woke up and replied, " I don't know! You left it like that when we left!"

To which, my mother retorted, " Of course not!!! These are your shoes!!! "

The Start of Something New.

2009-08-17T21:59:00.011+08:00

... unfortunately, this isn’t the case for us left behind.

My brother and his wife left the country this morning, ready to start a new life. As dramatic as it sounds, for the rest of the Icasas family, it feels more like an ending rather than a beginning.

When the two of them got married in January, we already knew that this trip was already part of their plans. Once they had their marriage certificate in hand, the papers for my brother’s citizenship began to be submitted for processing. All that was left to do was wait.

As the months went by, it didn’t really dawn on me that they were leaving. Since the first week of May, I've had the pleasure of being at home with them almost 24/7, as my brother had already resigned from work in order to focus on preparing for their big move.

Pretty much every day, my brother, his wife and I would get our laptops, gather in one room and do our own thing—but together—so that we could turn on the aircon. My Dad would sometimes join us in the same room on his laptop, and my parents liked to joke that we were all officemates, with my Dad as our employer. At lunch, the five of us (with occasional visits from the siblings and the babies) would eat, and make fun of one another. I was around (a little of the) family all day long, every single day. I loved it.

Eventually, my brother's visa got approved, and tickets were booked. The couple began to slowly pack their belongings in six suitcases. Two weeks ago, the family planned one last out-of-town trip together.

Since their plans to leave was finalized, everyone has been telling me that it will be okay, that we can always visit them, and that technology will make things so much easier. I know that it's all true. I know that it's a really great move for them, and that they're off to begin a new and exciting chapter in their lives. I'm happy for them. Really. But nothing could ever beat having them around.

Last night, we had one last family dinner together at the house—all ten billion of us. It was a usual night of Icasas banter and making performers out of the babies. But when it was time for the other siblings to go home, the goodbye hugs were lengthier. Then it hit me. They were really leaving. I had a difficult time falling asleep, because I knew that when I would wake up, it would be time to bring them to the airport.

This morning, the family was bustling with activity. After loading the bags into the car and eating a quick breakfast, the family gathered around to pray over the travelers. Of course, us sisters cried. Afterwards, the four cars full of people and luggage convoyed to the airport. It was my family’s first time to experience saying goodbye to a migrating family member, and we all wanted to be there.

As soon as everyone got down from the car, the hugging began. Us sisters hugged them and cried, then hugged them again and cried again. As we all went our separate ways, the remaining Icasas siblings sent text messages to one another with nothing but emoticons of sad faces.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the overwhelming surge of emotion that hit me. I knew that I was bound to shed tears (the Icasas sisters aren’t known for their ability to hold back tears), but I wasn't expecting the heartache—the amount of sadness that came along with it.

My parents and I came home, and I seemed to be the only one miserable. My parents seemed nothing but strong these past few days, repeatedly saying that they were really happy for the couple, and that God really wanted this to happen in his grand scheme of things. For the past few weeks, my mom has been trying to figure out what to do with the sudden spare room in the house.

But when my mom went in my brother's, she went out with tears in her eyes. She sat down, put her hands in front of her face, and wept. My heart broke, and I wept again.

I was so emotionally drained today that I took a really long nap, and woke up pretty much in time for dinner. I didn’t realize that my parents had a meeting tonight, and that I would be eating alone at home. Once again, a wave of sadness hit me. My “officemates” don’t live here anymore.

I’ve cried about a billion times since I woke up, and I don’t know when I’m going to be able to stop crying. They've been living here for the past few months, and now, the house is quiet and in a way, the house is empty. Their room is empty. I feel empty.

I can no longer knock on my brother's door to have him kill a cockroach in my bathroom. I can no longer convince him to have food delivered because there's nothing meaty for dinner. I can no longer make fun of his hole-y, beaten up t-shirts. I can longer give them real, live hugs--which makes me sad, because I should've done this much, much more when they were living with us :( I've gotten so incredibly attached to them over the past few months, and I don't know what I'm going to do now that they aren't here :(

A letter to the makers of Marty's Cracklin'

2009-07-25T00:58:00.007+08:00

Dear Marty’s Cracklin’ makers (aka Oishi),

As I sit here on this fine Friday night eating my midnight snack of your salt & vinegar flavored vegetarian chicharon and a can of SMB premium malt beer—I can’t help but ask questions.

How can something so salty—so vinegary—so delicious—be made of vegetables?

In the listed ingredients at the back of the package, only dehydrated green peas, vegetable oil, and garlic powder sound like anything remotely healthy. Are those three ingredients already the factors that make this chicharon “vegetarian”?

Just how many green peas do you need to make a recipe? How come our green peas at home don’t taste like your chicharon?

Are green peas your main ingredient? Because if so, a friend of mine would like to ask—if green peas are the main ingredient, how come the chicharon isn't green?

There’s another thing! How can it have 0 grams trans fat, and 0% cholesterol? How can something so sinful be… not so sinful? It’s impossible.

I hope you don't think I'm a philosopher (pilosopo in Filipino), I just really wanted to let all my questions out.

I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re doing it right.

Sincerely,

KVI.

The Little Things.

2009-07-16T22:55:00.008+08:00

My mom turned 61 years old today (and no, she doesn't look it at ALL), and we had a really yummy family dinner at Aquaknox in Makati. I don't know if it's the extremely unhealthy amount of seafood + Vietnamese coffee I consumed tonight, but I'm feeling hyper... and I really, really just wanted to blog about some random things.

* Yesterday, an almost two-year old Anda was eating a banana while running around the house. She suddenly stopped running and said, "Uh-oh. No more banana."

* I had lunch with PJ (my brother) and Kenelm at the ATC food court today. Afterwards, PJ and I went around the mall because we had to do some errands. It was nice being with him for the afternoon. I'm savoring it--because I know that he'll be leaving for Canada really soon with his wifey. Okay, okay, I will not get sad yet, I will not get sad yet...

* The funniest thing happened today. The waiters at Aquaknox brought out a cake from the kitchen and started singing "Happy Birthday" to my mom... only to realize that my mom had left the table because she went to the restroom. The family was laughing hysterically while motioning to the waiters to go back to the kitchen and do it again when she came back. Note to Aquaknox waiters: Look before you sing.

* I'm amazed at how long the family dinner table has gotten. We used to be a family of seven. Now, we eat out and we reserve a table for 12 (JV included, of course!)--a table of 14 if you count the two babies. The usual scenario now is that one side of the table laughs loudly, the other side gets curious, and you have to repeat the joke.

I love it.

*end of random post*

Rain.

2009-07-07T15:31:00.004+08:00

I want to shower right now, but I'm honestly scared that the lightning will make its way into the water heater and scald me to death.

Sad, Schmad.

2009-07-02T01:18:00.007+08:00

Today was a day of sad news.

The first piece of news that greeted me when I woke up was that my brother's immigrant visa arrived in the mail. Come the second week of August, my bro and his wife will be moving to Canada--indefinitely. But I shall save the sadness for another day. I'm happy for them, although my happiness for them is nowhere near the amount of heartbreak I'm feeling. For now, I'll make the most of their presence while I still see them 24/7. Sob.

The other piece of news had to do with my career. I was planning on... doing something. That something would've made the future a tad bit brighter for me (and JV), and help me get on the right foot with regards to... something. But this certain thing didn't work out, and all I get out of it now is a P3,000 refund and absolutely no idea what to do next.

To top it all off, Vic is still #1 on Typing Manic. I was so happy on the top spot, but then he had to beat my score by a lousy 20,000 points. I've been trying to beat him the whole day, but all I've won so far is a possible case of Carpal Tunnel.

But it's okay. I'm okay. It will be okay. As my mom reminded me a trillion and one times today, things happen for a reason. Asides from my depleting bank account, things are going great. I'm doing great. I know that great things are in store for me. I just have to claim it :)

The Home Series #1

2009-06-17T22:36:00.011+08:00

Being at home the past few weeks made me realize that even at home, you should expect the unexpected.

I thought the afternoon was going to be a relatively boring one. As usual, I planned on spending it in front of the computer, with nothing but iTunes to keep me company.

Suddenly, my sister-in-law came in the room and asked me if I wanted to have some puto to snack on. Not being able to say no to food, I immediately accepted the offer and followed her into the kitchen.

There, I saw my mom busily moving around.

"We're going to have a tea party!" she announced excitedly.

I looked over to the kitchen table, and saw that true enough, she had three table settings all ready for a tea party. When my brother announced from the garden that he would join us, she eagerly set another one of her pretty place mats on the table, and reached for another teacup for my brother.

The sudden inspiration for this strange occasion was her newly purchased teapot from Daiso, the 88 peso store. Yes. Her new teapot from the 88 peso store started this all.

Before we sat down for afternoon tea (three out of four of us still in our pajamas), my mom asked me to take a picture of her hard work. Then she wondered if she should prettify it further with a vase or flowers or something. Of course, our eagerness to begin the "party" won in the end, so we sat down and began to drink our tea. With our pinkies up, of course.

So there you have it. An afternoon tea party with my mom, brother, and sister-in-law. There were no flowers on the table, but there were pretty place mats, a pot of Japanese cherry tea, puto, kiwi, fruit & nut bread, and a LOT of enthusiasm.

I wonder what's in store for tomorrow. A mad hat party, perhaps?

Moping.

2009-06-09T14:43:00.013+08:00

Hi! My name is Kris and I'm a Home Shopping Network addict.

No, I've never actually purchased anything from there, but boy, I've drooled over too many products.

There's something strangely addicting about the fake acting and such excessive, false enthusiasm over such simple products. Annoying, but addicting.

On most nights, I fall asleep to the soothing (and I repeat, annoying) voices on the telly, trying to sell me things I didn't even know I needed. Hairbrushes, chopping and juicing machines, cleaning solutions, vibrating slimming mechanisms and other extremely random items.

Oh, but last night--I found IT. The solution to all my problems. Well, at least the problems I'm bound to have when I've started a family and have my own house.

This is the SPIN & GO (or at least, it looks like it. I can't seem to find a photo of the real thing online!).

This is the answer to all your cleaning needs. You can use it for high ceilings, under furniture (you can move the handle up to 90 degrees!), on cars even! According to one woman's testimonial, her cleaning time shortened from more than an hour to only twenty minutes! Wowza! Now THAT's a product!

I. was. floored. The science behind it is genius--and they really paid attention to the cleaning needs of today's housewife.

And for only P2,995! It was originally P500 more, but they slashed the price, and even threw in an extra mop head. Now THAT's a steal.

And I admit, I texted JV (who I think was also watching from his house) that I wanted to buy one eventually. He said we'd see. Yay! :P

The only negative thing I have to say about their ad was that they showed clips of people sniffing their old, wet mop heads. Although I know they did this to prove a point that the SPIN & GO dried quickly and had no smell and dirt on it, therefore not being a breeding ground for bacteria like the other wet mops left in a corner... but did they really have to smell their mop heads? Who does that?!

What really bothered me, what I couldn't understand, is that right after the SPIN & GO, there was an infomercial for this:

This is the STARFIBER. It doesn't have nearly as much to brag about as the SPIN & GO. It's nothing new, right? The SPIN & GO on the other hand... ahhhh.

Up to now, I can't understand why they would put such competing products side by side. They already said the first one was revolutionary--the first of its kind--so what about this one?

Talk about conflicting.

Unfortunately, I fell asleep before I could find out more and judge for myself which seemed to be the better buy.

Although really, I think the SPIN & GO is the way to go.

Poltroon.

2009-06-03T03:51:00.002+08:00

Okay, so pretty much everyone (who has to drive for me) knows that I can't drive. Is that a flaw? Yes. I'll admit it--I'm scared. I'm a nervous rider. So sue me.

Unfortunately, that's not why I'm admitting I'm a weakling.

Let me tell you a story.

For the past couple of days, I've been having little anxiety attacks when it would be time to sleep and turn off the lights in my room. It's not that I'm scared of the dark or anything... (well fine, that's another story).

You see, one evening, I stood up from bed to turn off the lights by the door of my room. When I was about to press the switch, I noticed that there was a long strand of hair stuck behind the light switch. After a couple of seconds, I realized that there were TWO strands of hair caught between the wall and the light switch. And then. It hit me.

IT WAS A COCKROACH.

The so-called "strands of hair" weren't moving, and I knew that the vermin was dead. But just knowing that there was a cockroach right there--right under that thin light switch panel--holy crap. No words could ever describe the mixed feelings of disgust, panic, and fear.

The annoying thing is that I kept forgetting about it--until it would dawn on me during the evening that I hadn't asked anyone to take it out. I would always curse myself for being so stupid, turn off the lights as carefully and quickly as I could, swear I'd have it taken out the next day, and go to sleep.

This afternoon, I finally remembered to tell my dad about it. He took a look at the ferocious insect, laughed at me, and let it be.

Thank God I asked one of the helpers to get it out. Tonight, my wall is cockroach-free. My light switch is accessible. I'm free.

The thing is, I have another problem.

There's another cockroach that's been appearing in my bathroom for the past three evenings. The first night, I saw it in the shoe cabinet (mental note: wash slippers with alcohol tomorrow). Of course, being the brave soul that I am, I closed the door and ran.

Last night, I saw the cockroach crawling on the chair in my dressing room. I made sure the closets were shut, closed the door, and ran. I poured half a bottle of alcogel on the chair this afternoon.

I also asked the helper (who saved the day by getting rid of the first cockroach) to leave a can of RAID in my dressing room. Tonight, I would be prepared. I would be brave. I would be ready.

But tonight, I saw it scampering about on the bathroom tiles. I hopped my way back to safety. I looked around for the can of RAID... and didn't find it.

Panic.

And this is the story of why, at 3:30 in the morning, I went downstairs to pee.

Angel.

2009-06-02T23:28:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday, sweetie.

31 days.

2009-05-31T03:27:00.003+08:00

It's been exactly one month since I resigned from the fast-paced world of magazines, contributors, and deadlines. I've said my goodbyes to strangers-turned-officemates-turned-friends, and have resorted to occasional YM conversations with them, as well as promises to meet up for drinks that have yet to push through.

Do I miss the work? Sometimes. Do I miss the people? Of course.

It's been a month of working at home, and being introduced to a completely new world--the world of real estate. Is it something I'm seriously going to pursue? Maybe, maybe not. But at least for the moment, my reality is that I am working for my mother.

It is, quite frankly, a far cry from what I'm used to doing.

I barely leave the house now (But I do try to get in some sun when I can! I promise!), and I've only been on the highway maybe twice or thrice in the past month. Sometimes, I convince myself I'm getting dumber, like when I referred to the beach as the "BETCH", or the time I pretty much blanked out when I had to do long division.

But I've come to love how I can enjoy a delicious, home-cooked (and free) meal for lunch. Heck, I'm even home for dinner! I'm loving how there are family members around at all times of the day, and I've fallen in love with the fact that I can take a break from work so that I can take the time to play with my adorable niece or nephew who just happens to be visiting that day.

I may no longer be up to date with what's happening in the "real" world, but what's important is that I'm up to date with the people who do matter.

This setup may not be a permanent one, but for now, I'm perfectly happy with where I am. No, I'm (unfortunately) not pooping money, but I'm learning to be patient. It will come. Eventually.

So, that's what the past 31 days have been like. Let's see what happens next! :)

Archie Proposes.

2009-05-28T15:26:00.008+08:00

I can't believe it.

Betty was extremely sweet and patient with Archie. She didn't care if he didn't spend any money on her, or if he went out with Ronnie using money he had saved on his cheapskate dates with Betty. She was perfectly happy just being with him. She was such a sweetheart! She spent all her life in love with this one guy... what's going to happen to her now?

On the other hand, Ronnie was... the exact opposite. Did she even really care about him? I don't think so. She never really gave him the time of day, did she? I was never a Veronica fan. Harrumph.

I guess the good guys don't always win.

Is there no justice in this world?! Darn it.

Three.

2009-05-22T00:31:00.016+08:00

(warning. cheese ahead. read at your own risk.)

Once upon a time, I got a phone call from someone I kind of knew from school. We weren't really close friends--we had never talked to each other in person, and had only just recently started to chat on YM.

"You live on (insert name of street here), right? What color was your gate?"

"White...Why?"

"I'm outside."

That night, we sat on the grass in front of my house, and told each other stories like there was no tomorrow. The next few weeks after that were similar to the first time he came over.

We would tell each other story after story, joke after joke, secret after secret. Some nights, we spoke of frustrations and fears, while on other nights, we spoke of dreams and hopes. One night, we stared at a neighbor's house and tried to make shapes out of the plants growing by the wall.

Each night, I wished that the day wouldn't have to come to an end. Thankfully, there was always a tomorrow.

Three years later, here we are...still not running out of stories to tell.

Honestly speaking, I don't think we're ever going to run out of stories to tell. Since I'm a really forgetful person, he can just repeat his stories every now and then. Besides, he's nice enough to listen to my stories--even if I've already told them to him before. That is a fact. :P

So, I'm a billion and seven percent sure--there will be enough stories for tomorrow. And the tomorrows after tomorrow's tomorrows. Yay! :)

Monumental.

2009-04-17T18:48:00.002+08:00

This is it, ladies and gents.

This is it.

Random Thought.

2009-04-03T00:45:00.008+08:00

"Don't let the sun go down on your anger."

Boy: Why did you have to do that?! I hate you!

Girl: What do you care?! I wanted to! And excuse me, I hate you more!!!

Boy: Oh no! Hun! I'm sorry!

Girl: Huh?

Boy: I'm sorry! Let's stop fighting now!

Girl: What?! How come?!

Boy: The sun is setting already! We shouldn't fight anymore!

Girl: Okay! I'm sorry and I love you!

Boy: I love you more!

Lost and Found.

2009-03-22T21:55:00.019+08:00

A few months ago (around November, I think), my dad asked me if I had his digital camera. I didn't have it.

A few days later, he looked for it again, and of course, I still didn't have it. He was not pleased.

You see, if that camera were to go missing, I would be the logical person to have it. My sister Pauline and I were the only ones to ever borrow that from my dad for various out of town trips, parties, etc.--but since Pauline was married and no longer living at home, who else would have it, right?

Moi, of course.

So I searched for it, over and over. When I was done looking through all the rooms, I would look through them all again. Weeks passed, and still no camera.

I remember on January 11, I was in the car with my parents on the way to my aunt's house, and my dad was already in a foul mood. At some point, of course, he brought up his camera. I still did not have it.

He. was. mad.

At that point, I was so tired of looking for it that I was almost certain that it wasn't me who misplaced it. Either way, I told him I would buy him another one, just so that he could drop the whole thing.

(No, I haven't bought it yet--but I've at least made an effort to scout for prices for it. Haha!)

After that "fight" of ours, he dropped it for a while. He'd ask the occasional "have you found my camera yet?" every now and then, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

Anyway.

Yesterday, JV and I went to CPK in Alabang Town Center to grab a quick snack. We had just paid the bill and were getting ready to leave when the manager (well, at least we think she was the manager) came up to us.

"Ma'am, nakaiwan po ba kayo ng camera dito?"

It didn't really register what she was talking about, until JV asked,

"Canon? Ixus na silver?"

To make a long story short, we left the camera in CPK around September 2008. The manager (her name was Gi) remembered our faces from the photos in the camera, and she even mentioned that we were sitting in the exact same booth.

I think the whole experience would've been one that I would have been eternally grateful for, if the photos that were left in the camera were really decent, great shots of us.

Unfortunately, beggars can't be choosers.

Thinking Positively: An Attempt.

2009-03-15T23:42:00.008+08:00

Last night, after telling a friend of mine about everything that's been getting me frustrated/depressed/stressed the past few days, all he could say was "when it rains, it pours."

Indeed, it's pouring. I feel like new buckets of rain are overhead, and the first batch of buckets are simply on their way back to refill. Words like "I don't like it, sorry." are still ringing in my ear, and dragging me down every time I think about it.

But I'm determined to think positively. At this point, I need to be positive. Things have to go well... at least until Tuesday night.

Once upon a time, the Backstreet Boys told us that there's "sunshine after the rain". So, if last week is any indication of how "rainy" it can get... well, then, this week is going to be a super duper sunny one. In fact, I think I'll get my sunblock ready.

Low.

2009-03-14T23:47:00.006+08:00

My cellphone is low on memory.

I can barely make a call or send a text message without an error popping up, basically telling me that my phone is going to completely crash any day now. The way around it (at least for the moment) is to keep deleting messages and photos until it will let me make my call or send my message. Deleting two or three photos and a couple of messages so I can reply to one text? Yeah, that sounds about right. The smart thing to do would be to back up my contacts and messages... but I don't really have the time right now.

There's no more space on my laptop.

There are days where I only have a couple MB left, and it's gotten to the point that I can't even view photos at times. I find myself emptying my trash can every few minutes, just to make room for a new file. Yes, I bought an external hard drive sometime back, but I can't seem to find anything on my laptop that I can do without for now. Even if I found files I could afford to part with for the moment... anyway, I don't have the time to delete them at the moment.

What's even more unfortunate is that I'm feeling low.

My spirit is low. My drive to do pretty much anything has disappeared, basically because I feel like one big disappointment.

In the end, all the hard work I (we) put in isn't worth crap. I feel unappreciated on so many levels, it's embarrassing to admit it. I feel like a disappointment to you (points finger at you),you, you, you... all of you.

What I absolutely hate though, is that I actually thought I was doing a pretty f*ckingtastic job considering the circumstances. I thought all of you thought that, too.

Apparently, I was wrong.

One week: that's all it took for everything to fall apart.

On Being A Superhero.

2009-03-13T00:09:00.006+08:00

It's tiring being Superwoman.

It means not complaining (or at least doing your best not to).

It means being a good example to others.

It means appearing as upbeat and positive about life as possible, even when things are not going the way you want them to.

It means giving up "me" time, for "all of you" time.

A(nother) Blog Post for You.

2009-03-01T05:17:00.013+08:00

It was recently brought to my attention that a long, long, long time ago, I wrote a blog post for my best friend to apologize to her. We were going through a rough patch that time... for topics that aren't even worth remembering.

Since we were in grade school, we've had a LOT of falling outs. Thankfully, we always found our way back in.

After what I think is my favorite conversation with her ever, here I am. Here I am letting her know that I love her, and that she's a GREAT friend. Here I am, letting her know that she's the BEST, and that's there's absolutely no one else like her, or who will ever replace her "role" in my life.

For hours, we talked. And wept. And wept. And wept.

And we're better than ever.

More than 25.

2009-02-22T02:15:00.014+08:00

Once upon a time, I succumbed to the pressure of those Facebook thingies, and listed down 25 things about myself (although I actually wrote 27 facts, not 25). However, those were more of "fun facts" about myself. None of those facts really explain why I am the way I am.

Since then, I've realized that there are REAL things about myself that I want to put down into writing, and share to... not exactly my whole Facebook contact list. I've learned that there's more to me than liking odd numbers, collecting jackets, and being afraid of cockroaches.

I'm 25 years old, and these are some of the things I've learned about myself, whether I like it or not:

28. As loud and hyper as I am, I am actually pretty introverted. Is there such a thing as an extroverted introvert? I love meeting new people, but in the "getting to know you" phase, I am actually quite shy. If you don't know me, I can seem mataray or just plain old quiet, but if you really know me... you'll know that that's not quite the case.

29. Unlike people who adore being the center of attention, speaking in front of an audience scares the hell out of me! Yes, I like to make winning hirits, but I can only pull this off when I am completely comfortable with the crowd that I'm in (and the only reason I can pull this off is because that's the only thing I'm good for...making hirit!). Make me present something in front of a crowd, and watch me go pale.

30. I have no problem making a complete fool of myself if it makes people laugh. A lot of my friends probably think that I'm downright strange sometimes, but hey, what's making a little fun of yourself?

31. I can't write, and am actually afraid to write. Sure, I've written a few articles here and there. Yes, I want to write... but I don't know how. I have serious doubts about my sentence construction, and have even serious-er doubts about my ability to write something interesting that's longer than 50 words!

32. I hold grudges / have a hard time forgetting certain things, like when a certain person didn't thank me after I did ________ for them. I have an unpublished blog post called "Give Thanks" that was directed towards someone... but the saner part of me was against posting it. Oh, how I still want to post it to this very day.

33. I'm too loyal to certain causes. The smallest comments against something / someone I love will affect me deeply. Even if it's a comment directed towards Golf Digest Phils.! Haha!

34. Most of the time, I have a really, really short memory. It's like when you'd study for a test in college and once the test is over, the information you memorized goes with it. I actually didn't realize it until JV brought up how extremely forgetful I was :P

35. I don't really remember what life was like before JV. I don't really care, for that matter. That's a good thing :)

36. I hate it when people can't read my mind or don't know when I'm feeling annoyed or frustrated or hurt. Yes, I know it's a lot to ask.

37. I looooove to make hirit and make fun of people (whether to their face or behind their backs), but I'm actually pretty pikon if you strike the wrong nerves. Tsk tsk. Watch out.

38. Since my sisters have moved out of the house, I have had a hard time sleeping. I never used to mind being alone in the dark. However, since they've both moved, each night requires putting the TV on sleep mode after about an hour or two, or leaving a light on in my room. My mom will get mad at me the next morning for the leaving the light on, but the next night, I'll do it again anyway.

39. I have a superhero complex. When people expect something from me, I need to deliver, no matter how hard I have to work to do it. I have a hard time telling someone I can't do something, no matter how impossible it may seem. I will slave over it if I have to. I must meet expectations of me. I must.

...but please remember #32. Thank me, okay?

To Angel.

2009-02-12T01:04:00.009+08:00

I see you walking around sometimes. Of course, I know it's not you, but people who resemble you. The other day, I was crossing the street, and walked by someone who looked so much like you that I almost called out your name.

Every time I see "you", I feel the regret all over again. It is the regret of not having been able to know you better. It is the regret of not having been able to spend more time with you when you were here.

I don't know why it still bothers me. We were never close. We were never really friends. We hung out a few times, but not enough for us to say we knew each other. So why am I so affected?

I wish I could have known you as well as the others were able to. I wish you knew how much I wished things were different. You seemed like such a nice person--so sincere, so simple. To this very day, I am filled with regret.

But there's nothing for me to do now. I just wanted you to know.

Hiding.

2009-01-12T13:29:00.005+08:00

She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are deep water. It is not for Geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows, the rest is secret.

- Sayuri Nitta, Memoirs of a Geisha

In Love with the Intangibles.

2008-12-31T01:41:00.012+08:00

It's officially the last day of 2008, and I end it on an extremely high note:

I've never been so in love with my life.

My ecstatic state has absolutely nothing to do with financial status (especially considering I have a non-existent one), but rather, it's because of the things that money can't buy--blessings. In my case, 2008's overflowing blessings were people. People, people, people.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great people at home, at work--everywhere I go.

My family has grown, and it continues to grow. Although I have always considered myself a family person, this year is different. In fact, each year is different, because each year, I am more and more appreciative of how great this bunch of people are.There are no words to express how proud I am to be part of my family.

Not everyone can say that they are lucky enough to like the people they work with. I, on the other hand, can honestly boast that I love the people that I work with. I have made a LOT of great friends this year, and it's just a bonus that I get to see them each and every day.

There are the friends whom I don't see very often. Factors such as physical distance or work have gotten in the way, and all you can really do to keep in touch is chat or exchange emails and scarce text messages. But in the larger scheme of things, who cares? In the end--friends are friends. What I am most thankful for about all my friends is that no matter how long it's been since we've last seen each other, things will always be exactly the same--perfect. Distance shimistance.

I am also thankful for the countless number of people that I met this year. There are those whom I will probably never run into again, and there are those people whose paths I will definitely cross in 2009. I have learned a lot from practically-complete strangers, and I can only hope and pray that the upcoming year will be full of more much-needed wisdom from anyone who's willing to impart it.

And of course, I am extremely thankful for my Mr. Jose Velez. No one gets me better than JV. Period.

So to You, oh Omnipresent, Omniscient, and Omnipotent One: Thank you.

Thank you.

Give Thanks.

2008-12-14T00:28:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, people amaze me. And not exactly in a good way.

Lots of things have really gotten on my nerves the past week. In order to get to this point in time, annoying issues kept popping up--on being organized and being top of things, on punctuality, on respect for other people, on responsibility, on planning ahead--the list goes on.

If I were in another mood, I might've called today a success. But too many things ruined it for me.

Because of one thing in particular, I'm not in that happy, "it was a success" mood. and it's not even the fight with ___ over this whole thing. that's another story altogether.

i've been told quite a few times that i'm too nice. they tell me that i do too much--that i tend to do things that stray far, far, far away from my job description. but i don't mind, really. i don't mind going far and wide to do things to help out, especially if i know that the help is really, really needed. sometimes, i'm asked. sometimes, i volunteer. either way, as long as i know i'm able to help out, it's okay with me.

if i'm thanked in the end.

that's it. i just want my hard work and "excessive niceness" to be appreciated. if i do pretty much everything, there's nothing wrong with thinking that a proper thank you would be in order, right?

it doesn't have to be a monetary thank you. it just has to be a form of acknowledgement for the all the effort and time spent on doing things that other people should have been doing. any form of acknowledgement. i accept slaps on the back. i welcome high fives. i accept anything that expresses the slightest hint of gratitude.

but no.

i waited for it to come in any form. and it didn't happen.

at the end of the day, there is no big hug from you to thank me. there is no nod of thanks headed in my direction as i leave the venue. in fact, i don't even think there is a goodbye. there is no email of appreciation. heck, there isn't even a text message.

so what was there? there must've been something.

ah, yes. i do remember a comment from you about not being able to eat any doughnuts, and that there were none left. oh, and another one about only having one copy of the magazine when you should have been able to take more home.

has this excessive niceness and sense of volunteerism become part of my job description without me knowing it? have i become so much of a pushover that this stuff is expected of me already?

.

2008-12-13T09:57:00.004+08:00

i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this. i HATE this.

Lullaby.

2008-12-08T23:34:00.008+08:00

It was a lullaby my mom made up when we were little.

Lately, I've been hearing my sister and mom sing it to Nico as they rock him to sleep.

I don't know what it is about their humming, but part of me gets all weepy when I hear it. It makes me feel so secure.

The other night, Nico had been crying endlessly for what seemed to be a veeeeeeeeery long time. My sister started to sing it to him, and honestly, I don't remember how much longer he cried after that. I fell asleep.

Irked.

2008-11-17T18:02:00.008+08:00

Before I begin writing this angsty post, I'd like to admit that yes, I am a selfish person.

But my selfishness has to do with me. In most cases, my selfishness affects only myself (and fine, maybe JV).

I like to think that my selfish actions have very little effect on the events of the real world and on the lives of other people.

I like to think that my selfishness has to do with the little things in life--like what I want to do (or what I don't want to do) today, or what food I want to eat, or where I want to go for vacation... is there anything wrong with that?

Unfortunately, there will always be the annoying, extremely selfish kind of people in the world. What's even more unfortunate, is that these are the kind of people that I can't seem to get away from--and having to deal with them is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting me completely.

The sad truth is that in reality, there exists the kind of people who don't give a rat's ass about others.

There exists the kind of people who don't give a sh*t about the effects that their words, actions, and decisions may have on others.

There exists the kind of people who roleplay all day--the people who act so sweet and helpful and innocent, but who are, in reality, just not. Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

These are the kind of people who think that others will just accept them for who they are--naturally pretentious, uncaring creatures--and that they will be liked and respected just the same.

These are the kind of people who act this way because they think that it's okay to act this way. They think that they can get away with it.

Sadly, in most cases, they do get away with it. And because they do, they continue being who they are.

Unfortunately for me, these people seem to be everywhere. They seem to be in every aspect of my life. There's no getting away from them. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, there they are.

The Verdict Is...

2008-11-12T01:44:00.004+08:00

... I'm tired :(

My Hump. My Hump, My Hump, My Hump.

2008-10-29T20:13:00.011+08:00

Wednesday is usually coined as hump day because it's smack in the middle of the work week. Basically, the logic behind hump day is that once you get past it, the rest of the week goes downhill from there. You make it through Wednesday, and you've gone over the hump.

Ah, what a hump there was in store for me today.

No matter how great you want to be at what you do, no matter how much you try to avoid making mistakes--it's inevitable. No one's perfect. You can't possibly do everything right all the time, right?

Fine, I can't be perfect. But shouldn't I be able to take my mistakes lightly?

Shouldn't I, at the very, very least, be able to hold back the tears when I make mistakes? Do I really have to look like a complete cry baby every single time I face one of those humps, no matter how completely small and insignificant they may be? Do I really need to be all red-faced and embarrassed every single time I do something wrong? Do I really need to show the world how irritatingly weak I really am?

I knew the hump would come up on today's road--I really did. Last night, I had a premonition of today's little bump. I tried to prepare. I brought my A-game. I watched the road carefully. I brought my maps. I checked the weather forecast. I wore my seatbelt. Heck, I even hung a rosary on the rearview mirror.

In fact, I got so close to making it to the finish line alive. I was so proud of myself for a job well done. But no. I didn't quite make it.

It's too late. My fear of hitting humps has gotten out of hand. My preparation will never be enough. :(

Ang Gusto Kong Love.

2008-10-26T23:01:00.008+08:00

I'm determined to post something today (in order to make it official that I'm back to blogging and that this isn't just another one-post blog!), but my mind is completely blank.

Instead, I'll paste something that isn't mine. Here's something a friend of mine (hi Vince!) shared with me a few weeks back which really, really made my day. Yes, it seems long, but trust me--it's worth the read!

--sinulat ni siege malvar noong 2006--

ang gusto kong love
yung masarap magbigay ng back rub
yung hindi mahihiyang makipaghalikan sa taxicab
yun, yun ang masarap na love.

ang gusto kong love
yung tipong pipigilan ka mag-yosi
di ka papayagang mag-sindi
kaya matututo kang maglumlum ng candy
kasi nga, bawal na sa'yo magyosi

allergic daw siya sa yosi
tapos magmomonologue ng:

“magyoyosi ka na naman? kakayosi mo lang, ah.
nagyosi ka na nga bago kumain
magyoyosi ka pa pagkatapos kumain.
pang-apat na stick mo na yan
akala ko ba sabi mo di ka na magyoyosi?
di mo ata ako love, eh.”

pero actually
lahat ng tao sa bahay nila, adik sa yosi
nanay niya, tatay niya, mga kuya niya
allergy-allergy
meron bang allergy sa yosi?
alam niyo yun, yung tipong
gusto niya lang masabi ng mga tao na
“o kita niyo, napasunod niya yung boyfriend niya”
yung tipong ganun ka-controlling
yun. yun ang tipo kong love
medyo controlling.

ang gusto kong love
yung hindi mahihiyang magpalibre
kahit compared sa'yo, yung allowance niya doble
yung pag manonood kayo ng sine
hinding-hindi maglalabas ng wallet
hihintayin kang magbayad para sa ticket
kaya kahit para sa bulsa mo masakit
iisipin mo nalang

“ayos lang, love ko naman
pero sana,
siya naman gumastos paminsan-minsan.”

yung tipong ganun na love
kasi feeling ko, pag nahihiya siya gastusin ang pera mo
nahihiya rin siyang tanggapin ang love mo
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo magastos.

ang gusto kong love
yung tipong pagkasama niyo ang barkada mo
biglang makikipagkwentuhan sa'yo tunkol
sa mga topics na hindi naman alam ng barkada mo
para lang ma-alienate ang barkada mo
and just to show it to them na
meron na kayong sariling mundo
yung tipong biglang makikipagkwentuhan sa'yo
tungkol sa plans niyo na mag-out-of-town this summer
o kaya tungkol dun sa movie date niyo
na as usual ay ikaw ang nagbayad
so hindi tuloy makakasabay yung mga barkada mo sa usapan
dahil kayong dalawa lang ang nagkakaintindihan
kaya susubukan mong ibahin ang topic
pero ibabalik niya dun sa plano niyong
pumunta ng Subic
o kaya bigla niyang maiisipan na i-update ka
tungkol sa buhay-buhay ng mga friends niya
kaya yung mga friends mo, naka-tanga
kasi kayong dalawa lang ang tawa ng tawa
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo elitista.

ang gusto kong love
yung mumurahin ka sa text pag hindi ka nakapagreply
kasalanan mo bang maubusan ng load
sa gitna ng immersion niyo sa Sitio Payonggayong
sa gitna ng Mindoro Occidental?

(tunog ng text: tutututut-tututut)

“Hi, LOVE. WHAT R U DOING?”

(tunog ng text)

“HEY, BAKIT DI KA REPLY. SAD FACE.”

(tunog ng text)

“HMPH. BUSY KA ATA. SIGE GUDNAYT NA.”

(tunog ng text)

“P########MO HAY## KA. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE
YOU. OK FINE, WAG KA MAGREPLY. NAGSESEX KAYO NO? NAGSESEX KAYO NO? P### KA. G#G#!”

(tunog ng text)

“Hoy. Sorry na. Ikaw kasi eh. Di ka nagrereply. Sorry po.
Mwah.”

yung tipong ganun
yung tipong kaya naimbento ang Sun Cellular
para sa ganung klase ng love
yung tipong ganun na love
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo demanding.

ang gusto kong love.

ang gusto kong love yung pag nasa simbahan kayo
sa gitna ng misa
uutusan kang mag-flex ng bicep mo
tapos pagpapraktisan ng suntok niya
palakas ng palakas, tapos magtatanong pa

“masakit ba?”

ikaw naman, parang tanga

“hindi, sige, lakasan mo pa.”

pero sa totoo lang, naiiyak ka na
kasi mga muscles mo namamaga na
hanggang bukas, braso mo manhid pa
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo mahilig sa boxing.

ang tipo kong love
yung makikipag-agawan pa para sa last piece of pizza
yung kinikilig pag ika’y kumakanta
yung ang tawag sa mommy mo, “tita”
yung memorized ang schedule mo every semester
yung alam kahit na plate number ng kotse ng kuya mong Wheelers International Member
yung makikiprint ng thesis niya
tungkol sa POSTMODERN THEORIES ON THE TRI-MEDIA
kasi nanghihinayang daw siya
baka daw maubos ang ink nila
yung tatanungin ka kung sino ang mas gusto mo ma-i-kama
siya ba o si Jen Rosendhal ba?
tapos maiinis pag sumagot ka
naman, si Jen yun eh. ano naman ineexpect niya?

ang gusto kong love?
yung sa akin lang siya in-love.

...and "The Moment I Wenk Up" was born.

2008-10-25T22:03:00.007+08:00

So this is it. My first post in yet another blog.

Since the closing down of thelifeofawenk over a year ago, I've attempted many times to create a new blog--but too many blogs were made, and too many passwords were forgotten.

And here I am once again--starting over. But deep inside, I know that this is it. There will be no more beginnings.

Over the years, I've realized that I am the type of person who can't write just anywhere (and I also can't write about just anything). When I write, I need to have the right frame of mind. I need to be using the right pen. I need to be writing on the right notebook.

So, determined to create the blog, believe me when I tell you that a lot of thought went into creating this particular one.

But before I formally open The Moment I Wenk Up, I would like to acknowledge the help of my dear (and strange) friend Brian, who, in an extremely IQ-lowering YM conversation, helped me come up with the blog URLs that didn't quite make it:

lifeaccordingtowenk

thechroniclesofawenk

iamwenk

wenksidestory

wenkmeupbeforeyougogo

wenkyourehappyandyouknowit

wenkyouwishuponastar

... and now that you've seen the rejects...

let's begin.