Longing.

You've been in my mind all day. No, I take it back. You've been in my mind all week. You're all I can think about. Honestly, I've been staring at photos of you, all the while deciding whether to pick up the phone and call for you or not. My heart is telling me to give in, but my mind is trying to stop me.

I don't care about where you're from. I don't care about the hands that have touched you. I don't care about the potential damage that you can cause. I don't care if I have to pay for you.

I need you. I will find a way to get you. You're worth it.

Revel bars, I must have you.

Blah.

It's one of those days wherein I'm feeling down, angry, and invisible instead of happy, perky, and invincible.

I've been feeling feisty for the past 24 hours, and trouble has been brewing in the air. The littlest things are getting on my nerves, and I can't just let them slide for some reason. I need to mention it. I need to point it out. I feel like I'm almost always on the verge of picking a fight with someone (whether with good reason to or no reason to whatsoever), and I'm really trying my best to hold back and shut my trap. I really am.

I don't know why, but there's just so much anger bottled up inside, and I don't know who these negative vibes are supposed to be directed at. What's worse is that I'm even feeling this way while playing UNO on Facebook! I was so frustrated when a random stranger from somewhere across the globe made me draw four cards, then another two, then skipped my turn! ARGH!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO TO YOU!?

Forty Winks.

People who take sleep seriously bow down to the powers of Tempur mattresses and pillows. My brother-in-law takes his Tempur pillow with him when traveling for work. I don't know what it feels like, or what effect it really has (except for the stuff I've read on their website), but I've always wanted one--but they're so friggin' expensive. But of course, you can't put a price on a good night's sleep, right? I used to remind myself that one day, it will be mine. I will lay my head on a Tempur.

The problem is--I'm torn.

I'm torn between Tempur and... Airmax.

**As mentioned a few posts ago, I'm a Home TV Shopping addict. I've never exactly purchased anything from the Home Shopping Network, but this is really something else! This ad is SO convincing!

If you've seen the Airmax ad, I was caught hook, line and sinker by the demo where they dropped an egg in all these beakers representing the material that makes up different kinds of pillows. It was only the Airmax beaker that supported the egg right away AND prevented it from cracking! WOWZA!!!

Just by watching the ad for a few minutes, I instantly realized how uncomfortable my pillows were. My pillows are either too flat or too full, and no combination could ever suffice! I was also shocked to learn that my spine alignment when I sleep is HORRIBLE! What am I doing to myself!? How can my neck still be attached to my body!? (Fine, fine, I'm exaggerating!)

Since seeing that ad weeks ago, I am haunted by the image of my spine becoming misaligned while I sleep. I suddenly feel that my neck is strained, and find myself adding another pillow, then taking out another pillow, then punching my pillow, then fluffing up my pillow. The cycle is endless.

Is it normal for someone to have such weird thoughts before they sleep!? Who thinks about spine alignment?! Neck alignment!? What in the world is happening to me!? IS THIS NORMAL!?!

My neck and spine are not at peace. They will never be at peace unless I make a decision.

To Tempur or to Airmax? To Airmax or to Tempur?

The After Effects.

It's been exactly one week since typhoon Ondoy has hit the Philippines.

For the past seven days, thousands and thousands of homes have been submerged in water, mud, and trash. Thousands and thousands of people have been living in evacuation centers, or staying at a relative or friend's house, because it is practically impossible to live in the pile of mess that they once called home. Too many people are starting over—from scratch—from zero.

Seven days after this catastrophe, many families are still living on the second floors of their houses and crossing roofs in order to buy food, because their street has turned into a river.

It's extremely unfortunate that this typhoon has caused so many people to suffer the loss of their homes, their belongings, and their loved ones. This horrific typhoon was unforgiving, and ripped several cities to shreds.

But, Ondoy also began to piece together a country that badly needed healing.

A bunch of random words are all jumbled into my head at the moment, but in a way, they are all connected: Bayanihan. Heart. Selflessness. Conscience. Prayer. Inspiration. Generosity. Sacrifice. Love.

Over the past few days, everyday heroes have emerged. This generation used everyday technologies such as cellphones, social networking sites, blogs, and even Google spreadsheets to help fight the battle.

This generation is finding ways to help—whether by donating money or goods, volunteering their time and energy, lifting up prayers, or even disseminating important information to family and friends. Even overseas, Filipinos and Non-Filipinos alike are sending donations in cash and in kind.

You can see the overwhelming support by the empty shelves and unbelievably long lines at the supermarket—each grocery cart holding boxes and boxes of food items.

You can see the renewed sense of unity by the way human chains and assembly lines are forming in hundreds different relief centers across the country, aiming to get each bag of relief goods deployed as soon as possible.

You can see the willingness of people to help by the way that other relief centers are turning down volunteers--because there are too many people willing to lend a hand.

The call to action has been so heartwarming. We are not direct victims of Ondoy, but that doesn't mean that our eyes and hearts have not been opened by it. The Filipinos really did need a wake-up call—and thankfully, in our own little ways, we stepped up to the plate.

I’ve honestly never been as proud to be a Filipino as I have been this week. I am part of a generation that up to a week ago, I believed was rather apathetic. I’m so, so, so incredibly humbled and happy to admit that I was wrong.

The Home Series #2

My parents are complete opposites when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.

My dad is the most organized person I know. Everything is arranged systematically--from schedules of bill payments to the way the contact list on his cellphone is arranged. He makes a schedule, and unlike most of us in the real world, he is able to stick to it. When he tells the family that he wants to leave the house at 5:00PM--you better be ready at 5:00PM.

My mom, on the other hand, is... not like my dad at all.

My mom is a woman of many, many great talents and abilities--but being conscious of the time is not one of them. Rarely does it happen that my mom is ready and dressed before my already-outside-dad is honking the car horn, getting more and more impatient by the second. At this point, my mom probably wouldn't have an outfit or bag ready, and would still have rollers in her hair.

Of course, with mom always rushing to get dressed, there's no way that she can clean up after herself before leaving the house. There will always be a light still on or a drawer still open after she closes the bathroom door.

After going out one night, my dad went ahead to their room while my mom was still in the kitchen. My dad found the bathroom in disarray. This time though, he wanted to teach my mom a lesson.

My dad proceeded to turn on all the lights, open even more drawers and cabinets, scatter toiletries all over the dresser, throw clothes and shoe bags on the floor, and even turn the chair over. He winked at me, then went to bed.

When my mom finally got to the bathroom, she exclaimed, " Oh my God! Dad, what happened!?!"

My dad casually woke up and replied, " I don't know! You left it like that when we left!"

To which, my mother retorted, " Of course not!!! These are your shoes!!! "