My Hump. My Hump, My Hump, My Hump.

Wednesday is usually coined as hump day because it's smack in the middle of the work week. Basically, the logic behind hump day is that once you get past it, the rest of the week goes downhill from there. You make it through Wednesday, and you've gone over the hump.

Ah, what a hump there was in store for me today.

No matter how great you want to be at what you do, no matter how much you try to avoid making mistakes--it's inevitable. No one's perfect. You can't possibly do everything right all the time, right?

Fine, I can't be perfect. But shouldn't I be able to take my mistakes lightly?

Shouldn't I, at the very, very least, be able to hold back the tears when I make mistakes? Do I really have to look like a complete cry baby every single time I face one of those humps, no matter how completely small and insignificant they may be? Do I really need to be all red-faced and embarrassed every single time I do something wrong? Do I really need to show the world how irritatingly weak I really am?

I knew the hump would come up on today's road--I really did. Last night, I had a premonition of today's little bump. I tried to prepare. I brought my A-game. I watched the road carefully. I brought my maps. I checked the weather forecast. I wore my seatbelt. Heck, I even hung a rosary on the rearview mirror.

In fact, I got so close to making it to the finish line alive. I was so proud of myself for a job well done. But no. I didn't quite make it.

It's too late. My fear of hitting humps has gotten out of hand. My preparation will never be enough. :(

Ang Gusto Kong Love.

I'm determined to post something today (in order to make it official that I'm back to blogging and that this isn't just another one-post blog!), but my mind is completely blank.

Instead, I'll paste something that isn't mine. Here's something a friend of mine (hi Vince!) shared with me a few weeks back which really, really made my day. Yes, it seems long, but trust me--it's worth the read!

--sinulat ni siege malvar noong 2006--

ang gusto kong love
yung masarap magbigay ng back rub
yung hindi mahihiyang makipaghalikan sa taxicab
yun, yun ang masarap na love.

ang gusto kong love
yung tipong pipigilan ka mag-yosi
di ka papayagang mag-sindi
kaya matututo kang maglumlum ng candy
kasi nga, bawal na sa'yo magyosi

allergic daw siya sa yosi
tapos magmomonologue ng:

“magyoyosi ka na naman? kakayosi mo lang, ah.
nagyosi ka na nga bago kumain
magyoyosi ka pa pagkatapos kumain.
pang-apat na stick mo na yan
akala ko ba sabi mo di ka na magyoyosi?
di mo ata ako love, eh.”

pero actually
lahat ng tao sa bahay nila, adik sa yosi
nanay niya, tatay niya, mga kuya niya
allergy-allergy
meron bang allergy sa yosi?
alam niyo yun, yung tipong
gusto niya lang masabi ng mga tao na
“o kita niyo, napasunod niya yung boyfriend niya”
yung tipong ganun ka-controlling
yun. yun ang tipo kong love
medyo controlling.

ang gusto kong love
yung hindi mahihiyang magpalibre
kahit compared sa'yo, yung allowance niya doble
yung pag manonood kayo ng sine
hinding-hindi maglalabas ng wallet
hihintayin kang magbayad para sa ticket
kaya kahit para sa bulsa mo masakit
iisipin mo nalang

“ayos lang, love ko naman
pero sana,
siya naman gumastos paminsan-minsan.”

yung tipong ganun na love
kasi feeling ko, pag nahihiya siya gastusin ang pera mo
nahihiya rin siyang tanggapin ang love mo
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo magastos.

ang gusto kong love
yung tipong pagkasama niyo ang barkada mo
biglang makikipagkwentuhan sa'yo tunkol
sa mga topics na hindi naman alam ng barkada mo
para lang ma-alienate ang barkada mo
and just to show it to them na
meron na kayong sariling mundo
yung tipong biglang makikipagkwentuhan sa'yo
tungkol sa plans niyo na mag-out-of-town this summer
o kaya tungkol dun sa movie date niyo
na as usual ay ikaw ang nagbayad
so hindi tuloy makakasabay yung mga barkada mo sa usapan
dahil kayong dalawa lang ang nagkakaintindihan
kaya susubukan mong ibahin ang topic
pero ibabalik niya dun sa plano niyong
pumunta ng Subic
o kaya bigla niyang maiisipan na i-update ka
tungkol sa buhay-buhay ng mga friends niya
kaya yung mga friends mo, naka-tanga
kasi kayong dalawa lang ang tawa ng tawa
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo elitista.

ang gusto kong love
yung mumurahin ka sa text pag hindi ka nakapagreply
kasalanan mo bang maubusan ng load
sa gitna ng immersion niyo sa Sitio Payonggayong
sa gitna ng Mindoro Occidental?

(tunog ng text: tutututut-tututut)

“Hi, LOVE. WHAT R U DOING?”

(tunog ng text)

“HEY, BAKIT DI KA REPLY. SAD FACE.”

(tunog ng text)

“HMPH. BUSY KA ATA. SIGE GUDNAYT NA.”

(tunog ng text)

“P########MO HAY## KA. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE
YOU. OK FINE, WAG KA MAGREPLY. NAGSESEX KAYO NO? NAGSESEX KAYO NO? P### KA. G#G#!”

(tunog ng text)

“Hoy. Sorry na. Ikaw kasi eh. Di ka nagrereply. Sorry po.
Mwah.”

yung tipong ganun
yung tipong kaya naimbento ang Sun Cellular
para sa ganung klase ng love
yung tipong ganun na love
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo demanding.

ang gusto kong love.

ang gusto kong love yung pag nasa simbahan kayo
sa gitna ng misa
uutusan kang mag-flex ng bicep mo
tapos pagpapraktisan ng suntok niya
palakas ng palakas, tapos magtatanong pa

“masakit ba?”

ikaw naman, parang tanga

“hindi, sige, lakasan mo pa.”

pero sa totoo lang, naiiyak ka na
kasi mga muscles mo namamaga na
hanggang bukas, braso mo manhid pa
yun. yun ang tipo kong love.
medyo mahilig sa boxing.

ang tipo kong love
yung makikipag-agawan pa para sa last piece of pizza
yung kinikilig pag ika’y kumakanta
yung ang tawag sa mommy mo, “tita”
yung memorized ang schedule mo every semester
yung alam kahit na plate number ng kotse ng kuya mong Wheelers International Member
yung makikiprint ng thesis niya
tungkol sa POSTMODERN THEORIES ON THE TRI-MEDIA
kasi nanghihinayang daw siya
baka daw maubos ang ink nila
yung tatanungin ka kung sino ang mas gusto mo ma-i-kama
siya ba o si Jen Rosendhal ba?
tapos maiinis pag sumagot ka
naman, si Jen yun eh. ano naman ineexpect niya?

ang gusto kong love?
yung sa akin lang siya in-love.

...and "The Moment I Wenk Up" was born.

So this is it. My first post in yet another blog.

Since the closing down of thelifeofawenk over a year ago, I've attempted many times to create a new blog--but too many blogs were made, and too many passwords were forgotten.

And here I am once again--starting over. But deep inside, I know that this is it. There will be no more beginnings.

Over the years, I've realized that I am the type of person who can't write just anywhere (and I also can't write about just anything). When I write, I need to have the right frame of mind. I need to be using the right pen. I need to be writing on the right notebook.

So, determined to create the blog, believe me when I tell you that a lot of thought went into creating this particular one.

But before I formally open The Moment I Wenk Up, I would like to acknowledge the help of my dear (and strange) friend Brian, who, in an extremely IQ-lowering YM conversation, helped me come up with the blog URLs that didn't quite make it:

lifeaccordingtowenk

thechroniclesofawenk

iamwenk

wenksidestory

wenkmeupbeforeyougogo

wenkyourehappyandyouknowit

wenkyouwishuponastar

... and now that you've seen the rejects...

let's begin.