Sunday, December 14, 2008

Give Thanks.

Sometimes, people amaze me. And not exactly in a good way.

Lots of things have really gotten on my nerves the past week. In order to get to this point in time, annoying issues kept popping up--on being organized and being top of things, on punctuality, on respect for other people, on responsibility, on planning ahead--the list goes on.

If I were in another mood, I might've called today a success. But too many things ruined it for me.

Because of one thing in particular, I'm not in that happy, "it was a success" mood. and it's not even the fight with ___ over this whole thing. that's another story altogether.

i've been told quite a few times that i'm too nice. they tell me that i do too much--that i tend to do things that stray far, far, far away from my job description. but i don't mind, really. i don't mind going far and wide to do things to help out, especially if i know that the help is really, really needed. sometimes, i'm asked. sometimes, i volunteer. either way, as long as i know i'm able to help out, it's okay with me.

if i'm thanked in the end.

that's it. i just want my hard work and "excessive niceness" to be appreciated. if i do pretty much everything, there's nothing wrong with thinking that a proper thank you would be in order, right?

it doesn't have to be a monetary thank you. it just has to be a form of acknowledgement for the all the effort and time spent on doing things that other people should have been doing. any form of acknowledgement. i accept slaps on the back. i welcome high fives. i accept anything that expresses the slightest hint of gratitude.

but no.

i waited for it to come in any form. and it didn't happen.

at the end of the day, there is no big hug from you to thank me. there is no nod of thanks headed in my direction as i leave the venue. in fact, i don't even think there is a goodbye. there is no email of appreciation. heck, there isn't even a text message.

so what was there? there must've been something.

ah, yes. i do remember a comment from you about not being able to eat any doughnuts, and that there were none left. oh, and another one about only having one copy of the magazine when you should have been able to take more home.

has this excessive niceness and sense of volunteerism become part of my job description without me knowing it? have i become so much of a pushover that this stuff is expected of me already?

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