Longing.

You've been in my mind all day. No, I take it back. You've been in my mind all week. You're all I can think about. Honestly, I've been staring at photos of you, all the while deciding whether to pick up the phone and call for you or not. My heart is telling me to give in, but my mind is trying to stop me.

I don't care about where you're from. I don't care about the hands that have touched you. I don't care about the potential damage that you can cause. I don't care if I have to pay for you.

I need you. I will find a way to get you. You're worth it.

Revel bars, I must have you.

Blah.

It's one of those days wherein I'm feeling down, angry, and invisible instead of happy, perky, and invincible.

I've been feeling feisty for the past 24 hours, and trouble has been brewing in the air. The littlest things are getting on my nerves, and I can't just let them slide for some reason. I need to mention it. I need to point it out. I feel like I'm almost always on the verge of picking a fight with someone (whether with good reason to or no reason to whatsoever), and I'm really trying my best to hold back and shut my trap. I really am.

I don't know why, but there's just so much anger bottled up inside, and I don't know who these negative vibes are supposed to be directed at. What's worse is that I'm even feeling this way while playing UNO on Facebook! I was so frustrated when a random stranger from somewhere across the globe made me draw four cards, then another two, then skipped my turn! ARGH!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO TO YOU!?

Forty Winks.

People who take sleep seriously bow down to the powers of Tempur mattresses and pillows. My brother-in-law takes his Tempur pillow with him when traveling for work. I don't know what it feels like, or what effect it really has (except for the stuff I've read on their website), but I've always wanted one--but they're so friggin' expensive. But of course, you can't put a price on a good night's sleep, right? I used to remind myself that one day, it will be mine. I will lay my head on a Tempur.

The problem is--I'm torn.

I'm torn between Tempur and... Airmax.

**As mentioned a few posts ago, I'm a Home TV Shopping addict. I've never exactly purchased anything from the Home Shopping Network, but this is really something else! This ad is SO convincing!

If you've seen the Airmax ad, I was caught hook, line and sinker by the demo where they dropped an egg in all these beakers representing the material that makes up different kinds of pillows. It was only the Airmax beaker that supported the egg right away AND prevented it from cracking! WOWZA!!!

Just by watching the ad for a few minutes, I instantly realized how uncomfortable my pillows were. My pillows are either too flat or too full, and no combination could ever suffice! I was also shocked to learn that my spine alignment when I sleep is HORRIBLE! What am I doing to myself!? How can my neck still be attached to my body!? (Fine, fine, I'm exaggerating!)

Since seeing that ad weeks ago, I am haunted by the image of my spine becoming misaligned while I sleep. I suddenly feel that my neck is strained, and find myself adding another pillow, then taking out another pillow, then punching my pillow, then fluffing up my pillow. The cycle is endless.

Is it normal for someone to have such weird thoughts before they sleep!? Who thinks about spine alignment?! Neck alignment!? What in the world is happening to me!? IS THIS NORMAL!?!

My neck and spine are not at peace. They will never be at peace unless I make a decision.

To Tempur or to Airmax? To Airmax or to Tempur?