Lost and Found.

A few months ago (around November, I think), my dad asked me if I had his digital camera. I didn't have it.

A few days later, he looked for it again, and of course, I still didn't have it. He was not pleased.

You see, if that camera were to go missing, I would be the logical person to have it. My sister Pauline and I were the only ones to ever borrow that from my dad for various out of town trips, parties, etc.--but since Pauline was married and no longer living at home, who else would have it, right?

Moi, of course.

So I searched for it, over and over. When I was done looking through all the rooms, I would look through them all again. Weeks passed, and still no camera.

I remember on January 11, I was in the car with my parents on the way to my aunt's house, and my dad was already in a foul mood. At some point, of course, he brought up his camera. I still did not have it.

He. was. mad.

At that point, I was so tired of looking for it that I was almost certain that it wasn't me who misplaced it. Either way, I told him I would buy him another one, just so that he could drop the whole thing.

(No, I haven't bought it yet--but I've at least made an effort to scout for prices for it. Haha!)

After that "fight" of ours, he dropped it for a while. He'd ask the occasional "have you found my camera yet?" every now and then, but it was nothing I couldn't handle.

Anyway.

Yesterday, JV and I went to CPK in Alabang Town Center to grab a quick snack. We had just paid the bill and were getting ready to leave when the manager (well, at least we think she was the manager) came up to us.

"Ma'am, nakaiwan po ba kayo ng camera dito?"

It didn't really register what she was talking about, until JV asked,

"Canon? Ixus na silver?"

To make a long story short, we left the camera in CPK around September 2008. The manager (her name was Gi) remembered our faces from the photos in the camera, and she even mentioned that we were sitting in the exact same booth.

I think the whole experience would've been one that I would have been eternally grateful for, if the photos that were left in the camera were really decent, great shots of us.

Unfortunately, beggars can't be choosers.

Thinking Positively: An Attempt.

Last night, after telling a friend of mine about everything that's been getting me frustrated/depressed/stressed the past few days, all he could say was "when it rains, it pours."

Indeed, it's pouring. I feel like new buckets of rain are overhead, and the first batch of buckets are simply on their way back to refill. Words like "I don't like it, sorry." are still ringing in my ear, and dragging me down every time I think about it.

But I'm determined to think positively. At this point, I need to be positive. Things have to go well... at least until Tuesday night.

Once upon a time, the Backstreet Boys told us that there's "sunshine after the rain". So, if last week is any indication of how "rainy" it can get... well, then, this week is going to be a super duper sunny one. In fact, I think I'll get my sunblock ready.

Low.

My cellphone is low on memory.

I can barely make a call or send a text message without an error popping up, basically telling me that my phone is going to completely crash any day now. The way around it (at least for the moment) is to keep deleting messages and photos until it will let me make my call or send my message. Deleting two or three photos and a couple of messages so I can reply to one text? Yeah, that sounds about right. The smart thing to do would be to back up my contacts and messages... but I don't really have the time right now.

There's no more space on my laptop.

There are days where I only have a couple MB left, and it's gotten to the point that I can't even view photos at times. I find myself emptying my trash can every few minutes, just to make room for a new file. Yes, I bought an external hard drive sometime back, but I can't seem to find anything on my laptop that I can do without for now. Even if I found files I could afford to part with for the moment... anyway, I don't have the time to delete them at the moment.

What's even more unfortunate is that I'm feeling low.

My spirit is low. My drive to do pretty much anything has disappeared, basically because I feel like one big disappointment.

In the end, all the hard work I (we) put in isn't worth crap. I feel unappreciated on so many levels, it's embarrassing to admit it. I feel like a disappointment to you (points finger at you),you, you, you... all of you.

What I absolutely hate though, is that I actually thought I was doing a pretty f*ckingtastic job considering the circumstances. I thought all of you thought that, too.

Apparently, I was wrong.

One week: that's all it took for everything to fall apart.

On Being A Superhero.

It's tiring being Superwoman.

It means not complaining (or at least doing your best not to).

It means being a good example to others.

It means appearing as upbeat and positive about life as possible, even when things are not going the way you want them to.

It means giving up "me" time, for "all of you" time.

A(nother) Blog Post for You.

It was recently brought to my attention that a long, long, long time ago, I wrote a blog post for my best friend to apologize to her. We were going through a rough patch that time... for topics that aren't even worth remembering.

Since we were in grade school, we've had a LOT of falling outs. Thankfully, we always found our way back in.

After what I think is my favorite conversation with her ever, here I am. Here I am letting her know that I love her, and that she's a GREAT friend. Here I am, letting her know that she's the BEST, and that's there's absolutely no one else like her, or who will ever replace her "role" in my life.

For hours, we talked. And wept. And wept. And wept.

And we're better than ever.